Sunday, June 20, 2010

Winner, winner chicken dinner

I have to admit that I've been struggling lately to keep my head up and not get too down on myself. Anyone reading here probably knows that I've been through a pretty rough stretch lately and it has taken a lot for me to stay positive. It hasn't been getting any easier.

I love to race my bike, and I love to ride my bike. I love to cook, and I most definitely love to eat. These are the things that make me most happy. Right now, though, they've all been taken away from me. I'm stuck on the trainer every single day, trapped indoors with only thumping techno or the endless drone of World Cup fans to drone out the whir of the trainer. That's not bike riding. What more? Cooking is a struggle, as I cannot chop anything and all other kitchen tasks are made ever-more difficult as well. Finally, with less riding than I would be logging sans-injury, I simply cannot eat as much as I would like if I want to maintain my lovely figure. (As you may recall from a previous post, I am a firm believer that happiness is a direct correlation to pancake consumption. And pancake consumption is down, way down.)

Could things be worse? Yes, they most definitely could. But they could be much better too.

Now that you probably think I'm a total downer in need of a good doctor or at least a little "medicinal" relief, I'm going to flip things around on you.

Yesterday, my teammate and awesome friend Emerson Oronte soloed to the win at the Purgatory Road Race. He has been getting stronger weekend after weekend and looks like he is approaching his best form yet just in time for U23 Nationals, where I know he is going to crush it. Though I couldn't be there with him, that win means more to me than I begin to verbalize. It inspires me to work harder than I did before. It presents me with a tangible goal to work toward, namely making myself the best and most determined rider I can so that, when I'm back, I can support my friend better then I could before. Whereas before I was upset as I felt that I was being left behind by those around me who are meeting their goals and achieving success, now I'm just more determined than ever. Whereas before all I had was anger to drive me, now I have inspiration. That's a dangerous combination. So look out, because I'll be back before you know. And now I'm pissed, but with a purpose.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Crash bang boom

So just when I thought I'd hit rock bottom already and was due for some good fortunes, it all came crashing down again...quite literally.

By now, I'm sure that many of you already know about how the P1/2 road race at Connecticut was cut short, so I'll skip the details. That and I am currently typing challenged, and just these two paragraphs have taken me an unduly long amount of time to hammer out. So I'll just skip to my own injury report, following my visit to the orthopedist yesterday.
I'm recovering from my crash and I feel well, but it turns out the damage was worse than I thought. My knee is alright and I should have the green light to ride the trainer by this weekend and will get the stitches out some time next week. My hand, though, is going to keep me out of commission for a bit longer.

My pinky is essentially broken in half, so the fear is that the two plates of bone could slide or rotate out of place, requiring surgery. Also, I badly sprained the ligaments in my thumb, which could degrade into a tear. So I left the orthopedist yesterday in a full hand cast that goes halfway to my elbow. I will need it for 4 weeks and will find out next week whether or not I need surgery.

So that's the report. I'm hoping to start riding the trainer soon and plan to get in the gym as soon as the stitches come out. Maybe I finally won't be so freaking skinny any more. Could be good for me. Who knows.

I'm definitely hopeful to be back in action by Fitchburg, but I wouldn't count on it. This won't be season-ending, but it's going to force a major shift in goals unfortunately. Time to find some perspective. I'll let you know when I do.